I have this perfect pair of skinny black jeans that hug my hips so tightly they actually create the illusion that I have curves. They are my favorite, mold to my skin, hide away all of my imperfections, comfort jeans. They are the pair I throw on when I am feeling closed off or vulnerable, and when I want to tell the rest of the world "screw you, I just don’t care what I look like!”
In the past week, I have found myself fondling through the rest of the vibrant colors in my closet and landing directly on these same, rather boring black jeans, over and over. I just couldn’t get enough of the way they laced up my thighs and forced me to blend in with the rest of the world and go unnoticed. These jeans were my comfort zone.
It wasn’t until they began to mold to my skin when I finally realized that I needed to give these melodramatic jeans, and my attitude a long rest. I decided to go home, wash my greasy hair, throw on a little blush and wrap myself in a fun white sundress that had been lingering in my closet all winter long. And after I slipped into my favorite golden stitched wedges and threw on an umbrella shaped summer hat, I began to feel like myself again, well, at least it was a start…
I still crave being in the comfort of my dirty worn in jeans and a pair of slip on converse, but today I realized that the day is way too beautiful to waste away wallowing in my own self-pity and suffocating my skin into thick material. It was time to stop concealing my negative emotions in dark layers of clothing and to start embracing all of the light that is already surrounding me. I needed to let my skin breathe and welcome in the fresh spring air, and more than anything else, I needed to feel beautiful again.
So here's to a new day, and a fresh start! And as Mrs. Elizabeth Gilbert likes to say, “Operation Self-Esteem, day fucking one!”