Free Yourself, You "Tough" Sissy Lala's

Recently, I have been noticing how many people I know (including myself), who are afraid to say or do what they really feel.

It's as if we are all terrified of making ourselves vulnerable, so we hide behind false illusions of security and contentment because we don't want to risk being denied, or not having our feelings reciprocated. But if we are all supposedly so "tough" then what are we really afraid of?

Rejection?

Let's be real, what's the worst that can happen if we don't land that dream job, or the person we love doesn't feel the same way for us? Would it leave a scar, force us to the emergency room for a handful of stitches or a big burly cast? Would facing the truth and ultimately being let down lead us off the edge, behind bars or strapped down in a mental institution?

Sometimes it's a blessing in disguise to be rejected or turned down, because it can be the only way you know it's not meant to be and that it's time to move on towards the person or thing that is. As much as it pains us, the truth slapping us across the face can be the perfect wake up call that we need in order to stop loitering around and start living our lives wholeheartedly. It may be just the right push to help us let go of all that was, and all that was never meant to be.

It is sooo easy to stay complacent in the unknown because we can't get hurt there, but if we always stay standing still, then how would we ever be able to get to the other side? In seeking the truth, what we discover may not always be exactly what we were hoping for, but nonetheless, it'll be the truth, and as some clever mind once said' The truth is what will set you free."

Free to move on, free to let go and free to let in.

So stop being a Sissy Lala and free yourself, the world awaits you... :)


Stay TRU <3

www.trucatalyst.blogspot.com
www.thetrucatalyst.com

Alone, But Not Lonely

Strutting into a crowded room, she throws back her shoulders, lifts her chin and smiles widely through her eyes. She struggles to fill her lungs with as much air as they can hold, before slowly releasing it…one…two...she is bombarded by high status socialites.

One drink after another, the faces surrounding her become blurred into false representations of a good time.

If she leaves now, she can escape the immoral decisions that lay ahead, but not after one more drink.

She hits the floor before she is able to discover that the door has just been slammed shut behind her.

It’s cold outside and her fingertips stumble to button her coat.

Men beg to take her back to their place where they can try and comfort her through her disarray, but she is no longer in the mood to entertain.

She steals a light that ignites her nightly nicotine fix and winks back at the men who fall like snow behind her, disappearing into one another; reminding her that they’re all the same.

Head down and eyes mirroring the reflection of small puddles filling the streets below, she looks away trying to avoid facing herself.

Headphones drown out the sounds from the outside world as they take her to that place; her place…her sanctuary.

She is alone, but not lonely. For the sky is full of hopeful dreams, and tonight, she is determined her stars will fly.

Life, The Unexpected

Last week, after beating up and bruising my poor little ego to the bone, I decided I needed a cleanse.

I needed to drain out all of the excess stress and self-defeating talk out of my exhausted psyche and pour in a new bath of lukewarm courage and bubbled faith.

I realized that I can't continue to obsess over all that I can't control and I need to learn to have a little faith. Fate can be such a tricky concept to master because it requires trust and belief, definitely a difficult task for me to grasp.

In life, we go through our days controlling everything; what time we wake up, whether or not we eat a healthy breakfast or have no breakfast at all. We decide what to wear, where to park and how enthused we will walk into our work. We determine how hard we are going to work that day or if we are even going to work at all. We get to pick who we come home to at night, a lover, friend, family member, ourselves, or even a Boston Terrier, and then we get the luxury of deciding how much love we are going to give them once we get there.

Whether we accept it or believe it or not, we are in control of just about every aspect of our lives and especially the attitudes that we carry in them. So what happens when the unexpected occurs? A tragedy? A miracle? Does that mean we lose driving privileges in the front seat of our own lives, or does life's unexpectedness signify a brand new vehicle in which we must now learn to take control?

Things happen we do not expect and people hurt us in ways we can not predict, but when someone or something tells you that you no longer have control of your future, don't take a back seat to their prediction and instead, fight to take control of the life that is rightfully yours. Don't sit back idly and watch as the unpredictable, uninvited, and unworthy stomp their way into your territory. Take control of all that you can control and leave the rest up to that little friend we so often like to neglect, and have yourself a little Faith.

Worth the Time

To the outside world he looks like your typical ‘at-risk’ teenager: greasy hair, sagging jeans and a quiet demeanor that is a little rough around the edges. He’s been labeled a ‘lost cause’ in his community because he barely speaks English, he lives in a trailer park and his closest friends spend their time smoking pot and trying to imitate the next generation of new age thugs.

For every adult figure who takes the time to engage in a conversation with him, or even make eye contact for that matter, he is overlooked by a hundred more. That is until today.

Today this growing young man was suspended from school for having drugs on campus. Today was the day, he needed someone to pay attention…and so I did.

Greeting him and his mother outside of his house may be deemed an unconventional method of intervention, but I needed them both to understand the severity of the situation and all that is at stake; his future.

He immediately looked to me for a way to help him because he and I both knew he wanted more for himself.

“What do you want? What do you see happening with your life?” I sincerely asked. “Do you want to graduate high school?” (At the rate he was going, statistics say he wouldn’t have even made it to high school).

“Ya, I want to stay in school. Can you help me with my English and help me learn to read and write?” He stuttered as his head nervously looked down at his worn-in Nike’s.

Already knowing how difficult it was for him to even ask, I happily agreed.

“You better not waste my time though,” My smile now transforming into a fierce grin, “If you really want me to help you, then you better never pull something like this again.” He looked up and made eye contact with me this time, “I’m serious”

He silently nodded his head in agreement and then transitioned his eyes back down to his shoes. I could tell we were both feeling ashamed, but for such different reasons. I felt that I should have paid closer attention to him and worked harder to prevent this from even happening. And from the looks of it (only time will tell) he appeared to feel disappointed in himself for the decisions he made.

I walked away that day wondering how many people ever paid close enough attention to him to help show him a more positive direction in life. Maybe one or two people, or perhaps no one ever did.

What I do know is that we can’t always save everyone, especially if they won’t even help themselves, but at the end of the day, it doesn’t hurt to try. So if there is anyone in your life; a friend, lover, family member or even co-worker who you know is being overlooked, take the time to pay attention…I promise you, it’s an effort you can ALWAYS afford.

Something's Burnin' Up

Coffee shops always take me back to NYC.

With every sip of my hot cafe' Roma, I can taste the energy and power that fight to consume the big cities crowded streets. It makes me wonder what my life would have been like if I chose to stay and continued working in 'Corporate America'...
If I continued to to focus my attention on something intangible, something I enjoyed doing, but that did not define me.

Although I truly miss the city lights, cobbled streets and late nights at Jack's,

There is nothing more powerful than the human soul on fire...So light me up and watch me shine...

What Defines You?

So many of us spend our entire lives trying to fix or forget small insignificant moments in time that have somehow managed to redefine who we are.

Whether it is the moment we foolishly got behind the wheel of a car while we were under the influence, or when we first saw our father's lay a hand on our mother. Or maybe it is the moment we gave away our innocence, cheated on a test, or the time we watched in silence as the person we loved walked out of our lives.

We go through our day's replaying these small moments over and over in our heads, wishing we could change or even wish them away altogether. We allow them to torture and build walls of resentment against us and no-matter how hard we try, we never seem to wholeheartedly forgive ourselves, even if it happened a really long time ago.

For anyone who is still holding a grudge against those small moments where you made a mistake, left someone behind or forgot who you were, don't allow these fallen remnants of time determine who you are and what kind of life you deserve... Leave that to all of the millions of seconds that follow after... for those are the moments that will truly define you...Those are the moments that matter most.

Not Alone

Last night while putting my car's daily fuel injection in at the gas station, a stranger approached me. He asked me how my night was going and proceeded to tell me about his. Naturally you would think this gentleman was trying to hit on me, but as the conversation continued, I realized he simply wanted someone to talk to.

He told me about how lonely and difficult it has been for him since he has moved here from NY a few months ago and proceeded to speak about all of the things that had been bothering him. I simply listened.

Later that night, I found myself at the local Denny's at 12am sitting in my favorite corner booth nestled up to a strong cup of coffee. I was trying to finish some work, when yet another complete stranger approached me,

"Do you mind if I sit with you?" he asked.

As I nodded my head in agreement, he let out a sigh of relief and made his way into the seat across from me. Two hours later, we were still in deep conversation about his life and the current struggles he too was dealing with. He had literally just gotten out of jail and came straight to Denny's to clear his head before having to go out and face the world. As I listened intently to his stories and current predicament, it made me realize how vital human connections are in this life.

Even if it is something as simple as a random conversation or smile in their direction, everyone needs to feel that they are acknowledged and alive at times. Because in a world full of billions of people, it's truly insane how alone so many people feel.

Someone once told me that life is about building relationships and feeling like you have a purpose. After last nights unexpected connections, even if they were only for a small fragmented moment in time, I was reminded just how important human connections really are.

So no-matter where your destinations will take you today; filling up your car at a gas station, eating at a restaurant, working out at the school gym, sitting on a plane on your way to a business trip or even while watching a sunset on the beach in Oyster Bay, make sure you find the courage to reach out to one another and put your energy out into the world...

For you never know who or what the world will give you in return...